My humble correction....

Did you ever think you were better than you really are?  That's what happened to me yesterday.   I felt SO GOOD that I was back in the running game and that I ran 5 miles - without stopping - that I forgot all that I had accomplished and then let go of.

My race time yesterday was not a PR.  It wasn't even close.  That number above - 49:13 - that's it.  That was December of last year.  Ten months later - on a course that I'm pretty sure was easier than the holiday run - I ran slower. 

That's what happens when you get complacent.  When you question where you want to go.  I let go of running this summer.  Not completely - but just about.  I stopped my long runs and barely got in the short ones.  I wasn't sure it was for me.  I didn't think I was enjoying it the way all other runners seem to.

If you ask me if I like running - I generally say not really - what I love is the sense of accomplishment I get from it.  Well.....when I'm running slower now than I was almost a year ago - where's the accomplishment? 

Don't get me wrong - I'm not giving up.  I'm fired up.  I WANT to get better, faster - LEANER. 

This was just the kick in the arse I needed. 

BRING IT!

Pon de Replay - Run, Run, Run, Run - Everybody Run, Run

That was the song on my IPhone as I crossed the finish line today.  LOVE that song. 

I'm not a very good blogger.  Seriously - I know that an integral part of a blog is photos - and that's just not my thing.  Partially because I go to races alone and to stand there and take photos of myself without feeling like a nut job is not an easy thing.  That said - here's my race photo from today.  As you can tell - I'm thrilled.

I ran in my first race in 5 months today.  With 300+ of my closest friends.  It was a 5 miler and I honestly wasn't sure I would be able to do it.  Well - I knew I could do it - I just wasn't sure I could do it without walking more than I ran.

It felt good.  It felt GREAT.  My time was 51.05.  For me that's a good time.  No stopping.  I'm pretty sure it's a PR.  (I haven't gone back to check yet) 

I ran across the Hudson River (on a bridge of course as I certainly don't walk or run on water). It was awesome.  Seriously - a great view and a perfect time of year.  The weather was good - although maybe a little warm.  (I'm getting old and I hate the heat now!)  A good blogger would have taken a picture - but that would have required stopping and I wasn't willing to do that. 

If feels really good to be back in the "game".  I've got two more 5 mile races before the end of the year and I can't wait to see if I can beat my times from last year!  I'm starting to think 1/2 marathon again.  Big question is which one. 

What did you do this weekend?

I have THAT husband - the one that shouldn't be on the sidelines.....

I want to start by saying this post is NOT running related.  I did run this weekend - and it felt great - and honestly - I NEED to get a run in today - if for nothing else but to get rid of the angst I still have over what happened yesterday.

For those of you that are parents, or have had an over zealous parent, or quite frankly - just been to a child's sporting event - you can relate.

My husband - who I love with all my heart - should NOT be allowed at my son's soccer games.  He just can't get it in his head that the 11 year olds running around on the field are not paid professionals.  His nonsense has been going on since our son was 8. 

Bragging mom that I am - I will openingly admit that my son is a pretty gifted athlete.  He does well.  Unfortunately - this makes it a lot harder for him where his dad is concerned.  He's never supposed to have a bad day.  EVER.  We've battled about this for years now- I've banned him from games, we've taken seperate cars, and I've even resorted to pleading with my son to try, try, try as hard as he can so that we don't have to put up with his Dad's crap afterwards.  (yup- pathetic....)

Anyways....yesterday we reached a culmination.  There was no yelling involved and honestly - our son wasn't even the victim.  My husband made a disparaging comment to me about another kid on the team.  The problem was - his mom was standing right behind him when he said it.  IT hit the fan.  I'm still mortified over the whole thing.  Was my husband out of line?!  ABSOLUTELY!!!  But there's a bigger picture here.  WE ALL DO IT.  At least most of us do.   

Not only do we do it - but some of us (and this is one thing I DO NOT allow) talk about other players in front of our kids.  I drive a car pool to soccer and I can't tell you the things I've heard some of the other children say about players on their own team.  AND - you can clearly tell when it's something that they heard one of their parents say. 

There's a huge lesson to be learned in all of this - and quite frankly- its not just for my husband.  Children's sports have gotten way out of control.  As parents - we've forgotten that these are just kids.  We've forgotten that there should be boundaries.  I've listened to many a parent talk about how their child deserves more playing time than other children. I've listened to many a child talk about one of their teammates in a negative way and - for the record - when they are in my car they get a lecture from me on how it's the wrong thing to do.

Why do we do this?  Why do we allow it?  What are we teaching our children? 

I'm implementing a no soccer talk in our house for awhile.  We need a break.  The chances of my son becoming a professional soccer player are slim - so why do we spend so much time obsessing over it? 

I want my child to grow up to be a kind hearted soul.  To try his hardest and to learn from his mistakes.  I can only hope his father has. 

As a side note- what's my husband doing right now?  He's teaching our daughter how to ride her bike without her training wheels.   One of the many good things he does for our children. 

I'm ba - ack!!

I took a huge sabbatical from blogging – and I’m sorry about that.  I just wasn’t sure if it was the right thing for me or not. 

I will say – I have missed the running/blogging community.  My running has slacked of significantly and I blame myself for that.  I guess I needed a break.

It’s depressing to realize that 6 months ago I was able to run 13.1 miles and today – I’m pushing myself to run 5. 

That said – I am officially back in the shoes!  I’ve signed myself up for several races over the next few months and I’m looking forward to it.  One of those being the Cupcake Classic Virtual Run - hosted by  Run with Jess - if you haven't signed up for it - you should!  She's got awesome prizes and is a great motivator!  

I've missed running - A LOT. Don't get me wrong - I've run over the past few months - but not as much as I was.  I miss the way running makes me feel.  Physically and mentally.  I'd say it's hard to explain - but I know you all get it! 

I hope everyone is doing well and I am looking forward to getting caught up on all of your blogs!!

My May Motivation

I’m running faster.  I know I am.  My race times may not show it – but I feel myself getting faster.  I’m currently one of those people that run essentially the same pace per mile regardless of it being a 5k, 10k or half marathon. 

I’m working on changing that. 

Now that my half marathon is behind me – I plan on taking time this month to enjoy running again.  To run because I want to -  not because my schedule dictates that I run a certain number of miles on a specific day.   Truth be told – I still have a schedule.  It’s just a  much gentler, nicer one.  My long run is going to top out at 6 miles this month.  My training runs during the week – between 3 and 4. 

I like the idea.  Going out and running for a half hour – forty five minutes because I want to is something I can get behind. 

Back to my speed.  My training runs these past two weeks have definitely been faster.  I’m pushing myself.  I feel it every night when I am trying to sleep and my legs are aching.  I know I’ve forced them to give me more than they are used to. 

I have one race on the calendar for the month – and that’s a 10k.  I’ve only run one other 10k and that was back in October.  It’ll be interesting to see if my pace improves this time around.  I plan on it – I just don’t want to overshoot my goal. 

That’s always my dilemma – do I aim high and then possibly feel disappointed in my results or do I go conservative and then feel “extra motivated” when I surpass my expectations? 

How do you determine what your goal is for a race? 

Finally...my half marathon recap....

Before I move officially move into May (and I promise to be a better blogger this month) I want to be sure I recap my FIRST half marathon. 

I learned a lot about myself on this journey.  This is the first "quest" I've been on that I have stuck with based on sheer determination.  I have been running - since June of last year - 3, 4, 5 days+ a week.  I haven't done anything that consistently for at least 11 years.  (which is how old my son is about to turn!)

Two days before my race - my " running partner" - who has not trained with me in 6 months but had committed to run the half bailed on me.  I can't say that I was surprised but I was forced to really look inside myself. 

The biggest accomplishment of my life I was going to do alone.  I think that's my biggest takeaway from this.  Don't get me wrong - I am proud that I ran those 13.1 miles (at least most of them) but I am really PROUD that I made a decision to go - by myself  - and run for me. 

The race for the More Magazine + Fitness All Women's Half Marathon that took place in Central Park on April 15th.  The race started at 8am and since I live about 90 minutes outside of the city I needed to go in the night before. 

After playing tag with my husband (literally dropping our kids off at his office since he had to work that day) I took the train into Grand Central.  I proudly got my metro card and took the subway downtown to the expo.  Because at that point I was having (and still may be) a love / hate relationship with running I wasn't really into it.  I didn't want to buy more running gear if I was going to lay off running for awhile. 

Subway back up to my hotel and I spent the night by myself.  REALLY SUCKED to be in the city alone.  (and in bed by 9pm!)  Felt like a total waste of money and the experience.  I missed my husband and if we weren't dogsitting for our neighbors I probably would have pushed him to join me. 

Anyways....the weather on race day was really nice.  ALMOST too nice.  The corrals were very clearly marked and the porto potty lines weren't too crazy.  As the race kicked off it started to rain but it wasn't cold so I considered that to be a good thing.   The sun coming out in all its glory about half way through made it HOT. 

I was surprised by all of the walkers.  Right from the beginning there were walkers.  I'm a strict rule follower so I found this kind of annoying.  Walkers were supposed to start in the back. I'm slow - but I wasn't in the walking corral.  :-)

There were just under 8k runners.  We were on top of each other.  A lot of weaving in and out.  This didn't really bother me- I'm so used to running alone that to be in with such a tight group of people was a new experience for me. 

After the first mile I felt pretty good.  (that first mile I always have to push myself through - as crazy as that sounds) Until mile 7.5 I ran at a steady pace - around 10:40 per mile.  

Central Park is a lot of rolling hills with one mother of a hill on the Upper East.  The first time I stopped to walk was at mile 7.5 and I only walked for less than a minute- just to "regroup". 

At mile 10 I hit a wall.  My legs were lead.  The sides of my hips hurt, it was hot and I was TIRED.  I had to push myself to run.  I think I stopped 3 times in the last 3 miles!! 

My end time was 2:23:51.  Just under an 11 minute mile pace which was my goal.  Truth be told - I wanted to be sure I came in under 2:30 and I really wanted 2:15.  2:15 didn't happen - but I was pretty happy with myself. 

Overall it was a great experience and it taught me that for my next one (because I'm sure there will be a next one) I can do it.  Nothing to fear. 

I am healthy, I have trained for this - I am strong.  A good mantra - I think I'll keep it.