My humble correction....

Did you ever think you were better than you really are?  That's what happened to me yesterday.   I felt SO GOOD that I was back in the running game and that I ran 5 miles - without stopping - that I forgot all that I had accomplished and then let go of.

My race time yesterday was not a PR.  It wasn't even close.  That number above - 49:13 - that's it.  That was December of last year.  Ten months later - on a course that I'm pretty sure was easier than the holiday run - I ran slower. 

That's what happens when you get complacent.  When you question where you want to go.  I let go of running this summer.  Not completely - but just about.  I stopped my long runs and barely got in the short ones.  I wasn't sure it was for me.  I didn't think I was enjoying it the way all other runners seem to.

If you ask me if I like running - I generally say not really - what I love is the sense of accomplishment I get from it.  Well.....when I'm running slower now than I was almost a year ago - where's the accomplishment? 

Don't get me wrong - I'm not giving up.  I'm fired up.  I WANT to get better, faster - LEANER. 

This was just the kick in the arse I needed. 

BRING IT!

Pon de Replay - Run, Run, Run, Run - Everybody Run, Run

That was the song on my IPhone as I crossed the finish line today.  LOVE that song. 

I'm not a very good blogger.  Seriously - I know that an integral part of a blog is photos - and that's just not my thing.  Partially because I go to races alone and to stand there and take photos of myself without feeling like a nut job is not an easy thing.  That said - here's my race photo from today.  As you can tell - I'm thrilled.

I ran in my first race in 5 months today.  With 300+ of my closest friends.  It was a 5 miler and I honestly wasn't sure I would be able to do it.  Well - I knew I could do it - I just wasn't sure I could do it without walking more than I ran.

It felt good.  It felt GREAT.  My time was 51.05.  For me that's a good time.  No stopping.  I'm pretty sure it's a PR.  (I haven't gone back to check yet) 

I ran across the Hudson River (on a bridge of course as I certainly don't walk or run on water). It was awesome.  Seriously - a great view and a perfect time of year.  The weather was good - although maybe a little warm.  (I'm getting old and I hate the heat now!)  A good blogger would have taken a picture - but that would have required stopping and I wasn't willing to do that. 

If feels really good to be back in the "game".  I've got two more 5 mile races before the end of the year and I can't wait to see if I can beat my times from last year!  I'm starting to think 1/2 marathon again.  Big question is which one. 

What did you do this weekend?

I have THAT husband - the one that shouldn't be on the sidelines.....

I want to start by saying this post is NOT running related.  I did run this weekend - and it felt great - and honestly - I NEED to get a run in today - if for nothing else but to get rid of the angst I still have over what happened yesterday.

For those of you that are parents, or have had an over zealous parent, or quite frankly - just been to a child's sporting event - you can relate.

My husband - who I love with all my heart - should NOT be allowed at my son's soccer games.  He just can't get it in his head that the 11 year olds running around on the field are not paid professionals.  His nonsense has been going on since our son was 8. 

Bragging mom that I am - I will openingly admit that my son is a pretty gifted athlete.  He does well.  Unfortunately - this makes it a lot harder for him where his dad is concerned.  He's never supposed to have a bad day.  EVER.  We've battled about this for years now- I've banned him from games, we've taken seperate cars, and I've even resorted to pleading with my son to try, try, try as hard as he can so that we don't have to put up with his Dad's crap afterwards.  (yup- pathetic....)

Anyways....yesterday we reached a culmination.  There was no yelling involved and honestly - our son wasn't even the victim.  My husband made a disparaging comment to me about another kid on the team.  The problem was - his mom was standing right behind him when he said it.  IT hit the fan.  I'm still mortified over the whole thing.  Was my husband out of line?!  ABSOLUTELY!!!  But there's a bigger picture here.  WE ALL DO IT.  At least most of us do.   

Not only do we do it - but some of us (and this is one thing I DO NOT allow) talk about other players in front of our kids.  I drive a car pool to soccer and I can't tell you the things I've heard some of the other children say about players on their own team.  AND - you can clearly tell when it's something that they heard one of their parents say. 

There's a huge lesson to be learned in all of this - and quite frankly- its not just for my husband.  Children's sports have gotten way out of control.  As parents - we've forgotten that these are just kids.  We've forgotten that there should be boundaries.  I've listened to many a parent talk about how their child deserves more playing time than other children. I've listened to many a child talk about one of their teammates in a negative way and - for the record - when they are in my car they get a lecture from me on how it's the wrong thing to do.

Why do we do this?  Why do we allow it?  What are we teaching our children? 

I'm implementing a no soccer talk in our house for awhile.  We need a break.  The chances of my son becoming a professional soccer player are slim - so why do we spend so much time obsessing over it? 

I want my child to grow up to be a kind hearted soul.  To try his hardest and to learn from his mistakes.  I can only hope his father has. 

As a side note- what's my husband doing right now?  He's teaching our daughter how to ride her bike without her training wheels.   One of the many good things he does for our children. 

I'm ba - ack!!

I took a huge sabbatical from blogging – and I’m sorry about that.  I just wasn’t sure if it was the right thing for me or not. 

I will say – I have missed the running/blogging community.  My running has slacked of significantly and I blame myself for that.  I guess I needed a break.

It’s depressing to realize that 6 months ago I was able to run 13.1 miles and today – I’m pushing myself to run 5. 

That said – I am officially back in the shoes!  I’ve signed myself up for several races over the next few months and I’m looking forward to it.  One of those being the Cupcake Classic Virtual Run - hosted by  Run with Jess - if you haven't signed up for it - you should!  She's got awesome prizes and is a great motivator!  

I've missed running - A LOT. Don't get me wrong - I've run over the past few months - but not as much as I was.  I miss the way running makes me feel.  Physically and mentally.  I'd say it's hard to explain - but I know you all get it! 

I hope everyone is doing well and I am looking forward to getting caught up on all of your blogs!!

My May Motivation

I’m running faster.  I know I am.  My race times may not show it – but I feel myself getting faster.  I’m currently one of those people that run essentially the same pace per mile regardless of it being a 5k, 10k or half marathon. 

I’m working on changing that. 

Now that my half marathon is behind me – I plan on taking time this month to enjoy running again.  To run because I want to -  not because my schedule dictates that I run a certain number of miles on a specific day.   Truth be told – I still have a schedule.  It’s just a  much gentler, nicer one.  My long run is going to top out at 6 miles this month.  My training runs during the week – between 3 and 4. 

I like the idea.  Going out and running for a half hour – forty five minutes because I want to is something I can get behind. 

Back to my speed.  My training runs these past two weeks have definitely been faster.  I’m pushing myself.  I feel it every night when I am trying to sleep and my legs are aching.  I know I’ve forced them to give me more than they are used to. 

I have one race on the calendar for the month – and that’s a 10k.  I’ve only run one other 10k and that was back in October.  It’ll be interesting to see if my pace improves this time around.  I plan on it – I just don’t want to overshoot my goal. 

That’s always my dilemma – do I aim high and then possibly feel disappointed in my results or do I go conservative and then feel “extra motivated” when I surpass my expectations? 

How do you determine what your goal is for a race? 

Finally...my half marathon recap....

Before I move officially move into May (and I promise to be a better blogger this month) I want to be sure I recap my FIRST half marathon. 

I learned a lot about myself on this journey.  This is the first "quest" I've been on that I have stuck with based on sheer determination.  I have been running - since June of last year - 3, 4, 5 days+ a week.  I haven't done anything that consistently for at least 11 years.  (which is how old my son is about to turn!)

Two days before my race - my " running partner" - who has not trained with me in 6 months but had committed to run the half bailed on me.  I can't say that I was surprised but I was forced to really look inside myself. 

The biggest accomplishment of my life I was going to do alone.  I think that's my biggest takeaway from this.  Don't get me wrong - I am proud that I ran those 13.1 miles (at least most of them) but I am really PROUD that I made a decision to go - by myself  - and run for me. 

The race for the More Magazine + Fitness All Women's Half Marathon that took place in Central Park on April 15th.  The race started at 8am and since I live about 90 minutes outside of the city I needed to go in the night before. 

After playing tag with my husband (literally dropping our kids off at his office since he had to work that day) I took the train into Grand Central.  I proudly got my metro card and took the subway downtown to the expo.  Because at that point I was having (and still may be) a love / hate relationship with running I wasn't really into it.  I didn't want to buy more running gear if I was going to lay off running for awhile. 

Subway back up to my hotel and I spent the night by myself.  REALLY SUCKED to be in the city alone.  (and in bed by 9pm!)  Felt like a total waste of money and the experience.  I missed my husband and if we weren't dogsitting for our neighbors I probably would have pushed him to join me. 

Anyways....the weather on race day was really nice.  ALMOST too nice.  The corrals were very clearly marked and the porto potty lines weren't too crazy.  As the race kicked off it started to rain but it wasn't cold so I considered that to be a good thing.   The sun coming out in all its glory about half way through made it HOT. 

I was surprised by all of the walkers.  Right from the beginning there were walkers.  I'm a strict rule follower so I found this kind of annoying.  Walkers were supposed to start in the back. I'm slow - but I wasn't in the walking corral.  :-)

There were just under 8k runners.  We were on top of each other.  A lot of weaving in and out.  This didn't really bother me- I'm so used to running alone that to be in with such a tight group of people was a new experience for me. 

After the first mile I felt pretty good.  (that first mile I always have to push myself through - as crazy as that sounds) Until mile 7.5 I ran at a steady pace - around 10:40 per mile.  

Central Park is a lot of rolling hills with one mother of a hill on the Upper East.  The first time I stopped to walk was at mile 7.5 and I only walked for less than a minute- just to "regroup". 

At mile 10 I hit a wall.  My legs were lead.  The sides of my hips hurt, it was hot and I was TIRED.  I had to push myself to run.  I think I stopped 3 times in the last 3 miles!! 

My end time was 2:23:51.  Just under an 11 minute mile pace which was my goal.  Truth be told - I wanted to be sure I came in under 2:30 and I really wanted 2:15.  2:15 didn't happen - but I was pretty happy with myself. 

Overall it was a great experience and it taught me that for my next one (because I'm sure there will be a next one) I can do it.  Nothing to fear. 

I am healthy, I have trained for this - I am strong.  A good mantra - I think I'll keep it.

I am HEALTHY, I have TRAINED FOR THIS, I am STRONG.....where I've been. (I'll try and keep this short!)

Hello Everyone.  I am so sorry it has been so long since I've "blogged".  I've got a myriad of excuses for why I haven't. 

First and foremost - I haven't felt like it.  I've thought about it a lot- I just couldn't work up the energy to do so. 

I travel a LOT for my job and this past month has been brutal.  I feel like I've barely been home (as I currently sit in a hotel lobby) and I'm getting ready to leave again for another week long trip next week.  (I still haven't told my kids yet about this one!)   Traveling curtails blogging for me (and running). 

As you may or may not recall - I also have been having issues with an on again - off again - cough.  This reached it's "prime" about 3 weeks ago.  I ended up have a few trips to the doctor, a chest X-Ray and now have an inhaler I keep with me.  I guess I have sports induced asthma. 

Additionally - the chest X-Ray showed up something funky with my heart.  I ended up heading back to the cardiologist - who essentially thinks I'm FINE.  However, I need to have a stress test - stay tuned as that's coming up in a week and a half. 

So...all of this has sort of thrown me into a funk.  A bit of a "running is killing me, my job is making me crazy, and yet I still can't seem to lose the weight I want funk".

On for the good news.  My first half marathon is officially behind me.  The More Fitness Magazine All Women's Half Marathon was this past Sunday - April 15th.  (I got the go ahead from my cardiologist on Wednesday that I could run it).  All of these medical issues derailed my training a bit - so I went into it feeling a bit under confident.  I had to keep telling myself I could walk if I needed to.  I also kept telling myself it may be my only marathon so I wanted to give it my best shot.  That's where my new mantra kicked in.

I am healthy, I have trained for this, I am strong.   I told myself this repeatedly on Sunday. 

I'll do a full half marathon report soon (as I want to document this for myself as well - as I'm not certain I have any readers left!). 

For those of you whose virtual runs I missed this past month - I'm sorry - life just got in the way. 

Look what showed up today? A sign of SPRING!

I NEVER thought I'd be happy to see this return.   The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and the Port A Potty has arrived!   (This happens to be on my running loop so it's come in handy at times!)

Facing your fear

For those of you that are Biggest Loser fans - you know that the premise of last night's episode was to "face your fear".  At the time I didn't really give much thought to it.

Today as I was digging for motivation - I started to think about my upcoming half marathon.  About the fact that I will be running it "alone" .  (you know - with 10k other runners!)  and how the course map indicates that there are 4 major hills.  About the fact that I ran 10 miles this past weekend and came in almost last .....about the fact that I train and run races without a running partner....this list goes on.  My mind has a tendency to go into overdrive sometimes.

Anyways....at some point I made the connection to my thoughts today and last night's BL. I realized that I am facing a personal fear each time I show up at the starting line.  Nobody's driving me there.  I'm making myself go - nerves and all - and doing the best I can.  Hell - nobody would even know if I didn't go.  (I did debate last weekend going for breakfast instead of the race! - who would know? )

I'm not the girl that goes alone to the movies.  I'd rather stay home.  I enjoy my peace and solitude at times - but I certainly don't go "public" in my quest for alone time.  During last weekend's race there were 2 packs out in front - and then the remaining runners were single runners.  Nothing to push you along except the quest for reaching the finish line. 

I'm not sure why I keep running. Maybe I would have quit by now if I hadn't signed up for this stupid half in April.   I don't know.  I'm certain I wouldn't be out running 10 miles on a Sunday morning.  At least not ALONE.  (sorry to whine so much about the whole running alone thing :-)

 I run because I take pride in my accomplishment - and yet it so many times makes me feel inadequate.  I could certainly run faster, run longer, run more....but....I get up each day, I get on the treadmill or head for the hills (literally) outside my front door....and I run. 

What makes you run?  What makes you face your fear?

Two for Tuesday...Do I need to change my name?

I'm sorry I haven't been around for a few days....it has been a very hectic week. 

I thought I'd get in a quick update.

1.  My 10 mile race was this past weekend.  I'm proud - I finished it and maintained essentially my same pace per mile as I did for my 5 mile race.  (10:44)  I'm sure that's because the pace isn't super fast - but at least I'm consistent!!  I only ended up walking for about 4 minutes.  On mile 7.5 they looped us back up a HUGE hill for the second time.  I called "uncle" half way up and walked.  Luckily - there is a downhill to the story so I made up some time with that. 

What was enlightening to me was the fact that there aren't many "fun runners" that come out for 10 mile races.  I'm learning that once you get out of the 5K range - most runners are "fit and fast". 

What that means for me - I'm moving from the Middle of the Pack to the Back of the Pack....YIKES!! Do I need to change the name of my blog?

This is at approximately mile 9 - at least I'm not limping!

2.  My daughter turned 6 this past weekend.  A very exciting day for her.  Unfortunately - she managed to fall and hurt herself so I'm home today - getting ready to take her to the orthopedist.  Let's keep our fingers crossed that its just a sprain!  What's one more day of kindergarten that's missed, right?  She's missed more time this year than her brother has in 6 years!  UGH. 

I hope everyone is having a great week!

Feeling a bit nervous....10 mile race on Sunday

I've got a 10 mile race on Sunday.  I signed up for it because it fits nicely into my half marathon training plan.  At least it did until my training took a two week hiatus a few weeks ago. 

I've got my head back in the game and I've been doing my long runs for the past two weeks - but I'm STILL sore from my 9 miler on Sunday.  NOT a good sign.  Of course, I have yet to give myself a true rest day.  Starting tomorrow I won't be running until Sunday. 

I went out today to get in 4.  I ended up getting in 2 and I walked for close to a half a mile.  My legs are fatigued. 

I think compression pants might work better if I actually RAN in them! 

Now it's in my head.  Doubt.  Uncertainty. 

Bottom line is - I'm running no matter what.  The question is - how fast and will I completely make a fool of myself.  (why didn't I sign up for the 5 miler!?)

I need to get this race behind me - and I need to get some confidence from it.  The half is 4 weeks away.  Essentially 3 more training weeks. 

I'm getting in my own way at this point.  As SUAR says - I need to stop complaining - stop worrying - and just SHUT UP and RUN!  (easy for her to say - she's an awesome runner!)

My conservative running style - Am I phoning it in?

For those of you that have ever seen a Jillian Michael's video - I'm sure you know the expression phoning it in.  She uses it a lot - to make sure you push yourself to the max - and don't just "phone it in".  ( I know she didn't invent the expression - but that's where I've heard it most so I'm giving her credit.)

I went out yesterday for my long run of the week.  9 miles.  It's the longest run I've ever done.  With my new Garmin Forerunner 305 (I promise I'll stop talking about this sometime in the near future!) it gives me a lot more details on my run - while in process.  At times - my pace per mile was up near 13. 

I ran 9 miles at an average pace of 11:54 per mile.  Not a fast time - at all!  The Garmin did give me more freedom in where I ran - so I mixed it up a lot.  I didn't run my usual loop as I just couldn't imagine running it over and over again.  I ran all around my small town until I hit the 9 mile mark.  So - I'm sure some additional hills and new terrains made a difference - but none the less - not a great time.

Here's the kicker - my legs are KILLING me.  I knew last night I was gonna be super sore today.  It hurt to go up and downstairs by the middle of the afternoon yesterday.  NOT a good sign.

I'm a conservative person by nature.  I always err on the side of caution.  Not much of a risk taker.  I've been very "strategic" in my training plan as I've built up mileage.  Everything you read says to increase your mileage or your pace slowly over time.  I've done that - increased everything - SLOWLY. 

Perhaps - too slowly?  Maybe I've been phoning it in.  Not on purpose - but in my subconcious - running - but not running as hard as I could be.  Not getting the most out of it that I should be. 

How do you determine what's enough?  What's too little or what's too much?  None us want to end up injured and unable to run.  I know the mantra of "listen to your body" - but that means you have to try and figure out when you're being subconsciously lazy.  Not always an easy thing to do. 

I read a post from someone recently (I'm sorry but I don't remember who) and they had said that they do weight training on the same day they do their long run because they want to get the most out of their recovery days.  GREAT STRATEGY and an incredible amount of dedication.  I - on the other hand - come home from my long run - eat, eat and eat, lay around moaning and then - for anyone who will listen - I tell them how far I ran.  All while begging my husband to massage my knees, and achilles (which have been getting very sore lately - yikes). 

I think it's time to disconnect the phone service!  Clearly less talking and more doing is in order. (I may need to unplug my fridge as well :-)

The Running Snob...VENT

I want to start by saying how much I love this blogging community and how supportive everyone is.  I wish I could say the same about some of the other "runners" I "run" into.

For us newbies, or slow runners, or "older" runners  - it's intimidating to join a group of people with the runner's mentality.  More, faster, better...

People who don't run admire us.  People see me out and about in my running clothes and ask - are you coming back from a run?  a race?  They are impressed.  I get told now by some people that the "don't recognize me" unless I'm in my running clothes.  (clearly I've got some social issues as I should probably dress a little better at times!)

The not so easily impressed are other runners.  They want to know - how you did.  Pace per mile, how far ....comparing the whole time.  It's human nature - I get it.


What bothers me is how quick they can be to tell you about their accomplishments - in a way that puts yours down. 


I run 15 - 20 miles a week.  A year ago I didn't run.  AT ALL.  15 - 20 miles a week, just about every week, for 9 months now is a MAJOR accomplishment for me.  I'm PROUD.  Those that run 15 miles in a day - put runners like me in a different class.  I am in a different class - no doubt.  But I would like to be supported and recognized for my efforts.


This past week I got it in my head that I want to run a Ragnar.  I went on their website and discovered that they have one in September up near where one of my closest friends lives.  She's always complaining  telling me about how her book club has practically become a running club and how much I'd enjoy it.  (she's not a runner -so she's not too happy about it)


I sent her an email asking her to check with her book club if they are interested in putting a team together.  Here's a snippet from the email she got back from one of them ...


"Ragnar is the same concept of HTC but on a smaller scale. HTC is a shining gem of a race, suspended in time that can't be replicated. But I'm sure it's quite fun in it's own right"


What the f does that mean?  Anyways.....she's out.  Not interested. 


No responses from the rest of them.


Then - there's my other friend's sister who is a tri-athlete.  She's done / does it all.  When we ran our first 5 mile race a few months back - she told us the time we should be able to run it in.  Who does that?  I'm just happy I'm running and I'm finishing.  If I have a time goal - that's personal.  It's mine.  It's not for someone else to tell me what I should be doing. 


I run for myself - so I know what others think isn't relevant.  But as a new runner, a SLOW runner (one that's 42 and 5'1 so let's face it - I'm not gonna get that much faster!) , it's intimidating.  I love it.  I do.  I do it begrudgingly some days - but I get a lot of joy out of it.  My accomplishments, the improvements to my health and my self esteem make it all worth it. 


I hate that other runners are the ones trying to take that away.


 

Wordless Wednesday....some added motivation...and a prayer...

Can't wait for this to arrive!! I decided to splurge. I'm a numbers "gal" and I have a need to know!

Looking forward to this as well...

And I got a couple of these too.....

And on a much more serious note....my thoughts and prayers are with the students and families of CHS.

Supplements - finding what works.

I am not a pill taker.  Yes - I take Advil (now that I've started running more than I ever have) and your occasional Tylenol - but there is something about a multivitamin that just doesn't work for me.

I general believe that if eat a healthy diet - you get the vitamins you need each day.  I also fully understand that most days - I don't eat as healthy as I should and therefore I am sure I am lacking in areas.

I do a lot of research on supplements and how good they are for your body.  I buy them  - and in my cabinet and or refrigerator they sit.  At least - until they expire and I throw them out. 

I'll be 43 in a couple of months and my body is definately starting to remind me of that on a regular basis.  My muscles don't hurt me after a long run nearly as much as my joints do! 

There's a ton of stuff out there on the internet telling me what I should take - and in the end - it amounts to a LOT of pills each day.  I have no valid reason for why I can't / don't take these.  I have a "pill box", I know they aren't bad for me and yet....swallowing those suckers just doesn't appeal to me.  The thought of it shuts me right down.

I'm going to get better.  I'm going to experiment with this and try and keep it as simple as possible.

Here's my plan....

1.  Multivitamin  (problem is most multis are 2 a day.  I never get 2 a day in!)
2.  Fish oil (I've actually found an orange flavored liquid supplement.  If it isn't expired - I'm gonna start taking this)
3.  Calcium - I'm going to try and drink one full glass of milk a day.  I don't generally do this - I usually have it in my coffee and that's it.  I know one glass won't fulfull my daily requirement but it's a start.
4.  Glucosamine.  Here's where it goes down hill.  The bottle I have is expired so I need to buy more.  These pills are ginormous and I'm trying to avoid a situation where I buy them and end up throwing them out again.  Because my joints ache - I'm thinking this will help.  Are there alternatives?  Suggestions anyone?

Do you take vitamins or supplements of any kind?  How do you stick with it?  How do you figure out what works and what doesn't?

My work from home plan - are these jeans too tight?

Working from home two days a week is a perk of my job that I - quite frankly - am not sure I could live without.

It affords me the opportunity to save on gas, time, spend more time with my kids and run outside 2 extra days.  So...I am in no way complaining about this gift bestowed upon me by my employer.

It does - however, personally challenge me some days.  I have instant access to my refridgerator  and I am in either my running clothes, PJs or some other amazingly comfortable apparel.  Not an easy recipe for self control. 

Today I got "snowed in". Yup  - 4 inches of snow has snowed me in!  Apparently a major road on my commute is closed due to a ton of accidents so I am stuck working from home. 

Friday is "weigh in" day for me and my girlfriend.  It's the home stretch and home - with my fridge - is the last place I want to be.  I'd rather be in my office sitting in meetings all day.

My survival strategy?  I'm putting on those jeans that haven't "fit" me in years.  I certainly can't wear them in public, and I'm not certain how comfortable I'll be sitting down - but they will serve as a constant reminder as to why I can't indulge those cravings!!   It's a head game and I'm in it to win it!  

What do you do to get past your cravings?

Smaller Goals....Bigger Gains....

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make a brazen assumption that most of "us" runners - are fairly type A.  Goal oriented, nothing's too challenging....won't be defeated...controlling....high strung.....(I'm also an Aries so you can imagine how the sign of the Ram factors in here). 

I've learned to be proud of my A mentality - but sometimes it defeats me before I even get started.  My to do lists are twice as long as my husbands on a weekend.  My "plan" for the week is mapped out down to every minute.  My exercise and dieting goals are set for the week.  The problem with this - especially when you are running a household - is that it doesn't allow "life" to get in the way.  Well - let me rephrase - life happens, my plan falls to sh*t and I have to start over. 

Very demotivating some days, weeks, months....

I can't change my whole personality - so I'm going to try and focus in on my running and my weight goals.   I think my controlling, big picture mentality is hurting me.  I need to break it down.  I'm so caught up in the fact that I'm training for a half marathon AND trying to lose 20 lbs - that I am not taking the time to think about what I need each day or week.  It's overwhelms me.  It drains me.  It causes me to head to the couch or the fridge! 

My girlfriend and I have decided to drop our long term goals and focus on weekly ones instead.  Losing a pound a week is a lot easier to think about than 20!  Running with my daily mileage goal is a lot less stressful than thinking about needing to run 13.1 at a time.  NOT TO MENTION - that - dare I say it - I COULD stop and walk if I had to.  There...I said it.  It's okay to walk if I need to. 

It's week one for me living with  this new thought process - and I'm not gonna lie - there's a battle going on in my head - but I believe -that in the end - I will prevail.  I will be ready to run my half when the time comes - and even at a pound a week - I'll be in a better place down the road.  Baby steps....

How do you approach your goals? 

Running....a source of stress or stress reliever?

I've hit a wall these past couple of weeks and I'm unsure what to do about it.  Please allow me to ramble on about this....(the beauty of the internet ...no one can stop me...you can just move along and I'll never know)....

The bigger picture of my life:

I've got a full time job that has me traveling approximately once a month (for multiple days).  When I travel - it isn't standard business travel where I finish my days and spend my nights alone in a hotel room.  I'm an event manager - so when I am on the road- I work from the early morning hours until late into the evening. (sort of the first one up and last one to bed scenario)  I don't do this alone - I have a team - but never the less - my travel schedule doesn't really allow me to take my workout on the road.

When I'm not traveling - I work from home two days a week (thank you God!) and on the other three days - I commute 1.5 hours each way to the office.  My husband's hours are longer - so I am still the one responsible for picking up my kids, getting them home, getting dinner ready, walking the dogs....and then there's the whole homework / bathing things that kids require. 

My hudsband is an incredible help - but our nights typically don't settle down until around 8:30 - 9:00,  when he heads to the gym and I put our youngest to bed.  (there's some irony here because when my oldest was her age - he was in bed by 7:30pm but that is just not possible these days!)

My days start at 5:15am.  That's the time I get up to get ready for work.  That does not factor in any time to get up and workout first.  Then I'd need to get up at 4:00am and I honestly can't do that. 

I realize I'm really all over the page at this time - so THANK YOU if you are still trying to follow along.

I generally rely on running to relieve my stress.  To help me clear my head and give me some much needed release.  If I weren't training for a half marathon it probably still would. 

My son got sick this week.  Between doctors appointments and taking care of him - I was tied up for essentially 3 days this week.  To add to it - my husband - who NEVER travels - was out of town for the week.  THEN I got sick.  Rarely do I get so sick that I need to stay home from work (I hate to waste a sick day being sick :-).  I was home on my couch for 2 days.  That's essentially a whole week to illness.

During all of this - I've been stressing over the fact that I'm not running.  I'm losing ground....I should be doing my long run...(which truth be told I've missed the past two weeks) and I'm STRESSED!

The bigger problem is - I don't miss it!! Not right now.  I'm fried, burnt out.  I want to go back to that couch I've been laying on for days and stay there!  This doesn't make me feel good about myself.  I pride myself in accomplishing things.  I'm not a slacker.  I'm type A all the way. 

Running is supposed to bring me joy - NOT cause me guilt or stress. 

What do I do now?  I need to think about it.  Or - I need to STOP thinking about it.

Hopefully this funk will pass quickly and I will be able to make up the ground I'm losing. 

I hope.....

Nike (and Pandora) you're on my list! A Valentine Breakup....

I've seen so many posts about shoes and how to select the best ones, how much they can change your run, how having the right one for your running type can make an impact.....and how much time is spent trying to find THE shoe.

I've been sucked into the vortex.  Some of you know that my brother works for Nike so I try to be Nike loyal.  Yes - I get a discount but I also do try and support the brand that gives my brother his paycheck. 

Since I've been running I've been using the Lunarglide 2s.  Since I was/am a new runner - I had / have no real way to gauge a good vs bad running shoe.  I've been perfectly happy in my LG2s but maybe I could be better, faster, less achy with something else.

Turns out I am an underpronator, supinator....whatever you want to call it.  LG2s are not the best shoe for my running type.  So - after consulting my little bro and doing some research I ordered the Vomero 6s. 

I had such high hopes.  I was away for a few days this week so I was very excited when I got home yesterday morning and discovered the Vomeros had a arrived.  Tired as I was (I left my hotel for the airport at 3:30 EST) - I put on my running gear and hit the road.

I WANTED to get my 7 in.  I didn't want to have to run today because I'm always more tired 2 days post travel.  (see the tired theme here? - I thought running was supposed to give you energy?!) Anyways - I knew half a mile into it the shoes weren't for me.  The cushioning was all off, my toes were numb, I was generally unhappy.  I ended up running just over 3 and calling it a day. 

My legs (and feet) actually hurt me the rest of the day.  So NOT happy with Nike.  Research doesn't point towards them for premier running shoes - and I'm sorry to say - I'm going to have to jump ship and find someone else. Looks like Nike and I are parting ways...let's hope they keep making cool soccer shoes so I can continue to give them a good percentage of my paycheck for my son's sport.

By they way - can I return shoes that I ran 3 miles in?  I'm gonna try because truth be told - these shoes aren't even comfortable enough (for me) to walk in. 

Now - let's talk Pandora.  I use Pandora when I run alone because I want to have my phone with me for safety purposes.  (I am switching to an IPhone in March but for now I have a Blackberry)

I hate relying on it for my music.  Yesterday - even though there wasn't a cloud in the sky - I only had music for about half my run.  That had me focusing even more on my aching feet and offered me one more excuse to call it a day.  I generally don't need motivation to run - but I do need a push on my long run days.  I REALLY need a running partner.  

Do you use Pandora for your runs?  Any under pronators out there with shoe suggestions? 

A need for speed....

I signed up last minute for a 5 mile race on Sunday with my local running club.  It was FREE (love that!) to all members so I really had nothing to lose.

I will start off by saying - I did not want to run yesterday.  I did NOT want to run.  I drug my butt out to the race.  I'm not certain why I was so "under"motivated.  Maybe it's because the race didn't start until 10am and by then I was all nice and comfy in my house not wanting to leave.  There's something to be said for getting up and out early.

Anyways....

Let's be real - even though the race was free - the only runners signing up for a run on February 5th are RUNNERS!  As in - seriously - way faster than me - runners. 

As you know - I'm training for a half marathon.  One of my problems with races is that I really am tired after I run them.  I'm honestly not certain why - I think its the mental strain as much as the physical strain because (as noted by my finishing time) I don't really "race" much faster than I train.

I told myself as I was running that I was counting this as my weekly long run and nothing more.  (at the end of the race I ran for another mile to give myself 6 for the long run - which was my target)  I didn't want to push myself because I wanted to make sure I could continue to train according to my schedule for the week. 

I realize at this point a lot of this endless rambling is just nonsense to you so I'll try and make my point.  I ran my 5 mile race in 53:10.  That's almost 2 minutes more than my PR on it - and even though I know I didn't push myself as hard as I could have - I'm disappointed in the time.  It was a really easy course.  NOT TO MENTION there were only about 10 people behind me - out of 120ppl.  WHY am I so slow? 

I know I should train on speed - but I also need to train on endurance.  It doesn't matter how fast I can run a mile if I can't run 13 of them in April.  I know it's a combination and I am doing some speed training - but it seems when I race - my body sets its pace and I -  apparently - haven't found yet the mental strength to push past it. 

PLUS - I'm tired today.  Wiped out- don't want to run and won't so that I can get in a long run on Wednesday before I head out of town on a business trip. 

Not feeling it today .....or feeling too much of it depending on how you look at it....

How do you pick yourself up out of a slump?