Monday, October 8, 2012

I have THAT husband - the one that shouldn't be on the sidelines.....

I want to start by saying this post is NOT running related.  I did run this weekend - and it felt great - and honestly - I NEED to get a run in today - if for nothing else but to get rid of the angst I still have over what happened yesterday.

For those of you that are parents, or have had an over zealous parent, or quite frankly - just been to a child's sporting event - you can relate.

My husband - who I love with all my heart - should NOT be allowed at my son's soccer games.  He just can't get it in his head that the 11 year olds running around on the field are not paid professionals.  His nonsense has been going on since our son was 8. 

Bragging mom that I am - I will openingly admit that my son is a pretty gifted athlete.  He does well.  Unfortunately - this makes it a lot harder for him where his dad is concerned.  He's never supposed to have a bad day.  EVER.  We've battled about this for years now- I've banned him from games, we've taken seperate cars, and I've even resorted to pleading with my son to try, try, try as hard as he can so that we don't have to put up with his Dad's crap afterwards.  (yup- pathetic....)

Anyways....yesterday we reached a culmination.  There was no yelling involved and honestly - our son wasn't even the victim.  My husband made a disparaging comment to me about another kid on the team.  The problem was - his mom was standing right behind him when he said it.  IT hit the fan.  I'm still mortified over the whole thing.  Was my husband out of line?!  ABSOLUTELY!!!  But there's a bigger picture here.  WE ALL DO IT.  At least most of us do.   

Not only do we do it - but some of us (and this is one thing I DO NOT allow) talk about other players in front of our kids.  I drive a car pool to soccer and I can't tell you the things I've heard some of the other children say about players on their own team.  AND - you can clearly tell when it's something that they heard one of their parents say. 

There's a huge lesson to be learned in all of this - and quite frankly- its not just for my husband.  Children's sports have gotten way out of control.  As parents - we've forgotten that these are just kids.  We've forgotten that there should be boundaries.  I've listened to many a parent talk about how their child deserves more playing time than other children. I've listened to many a child talk about one of their teammates in a negative way and - for the record - when they are in my car they get a lecture from me on how it's the wrong thing to do.

Why do we do this?  Why do we allow it?  What are we teaching our children? 

I'm implementing a no soccer talk in our house for awhile.  We need a break.  The chances of my son becoming a professional soccer player are slim - so why do we spend so much time obsessing over it? 

I want my child to grow up to be a kind hearted soul.  To try his hardest and to learn from his mistakes.  I can only hope his father has. 

As a side note- what's my husband doing right now?  He's teaching our daughter how to ride her bike without her training wheels.   One of the many good things he does for our children. 

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