I've hit a wall these past couple of weeks and I'm unsure what to do about it. Please allow me to ramble on about this....(the beauty of the internet ...no one can stop me...you can just move along and I'll never know)....
The bigger picture of my life:
I've got a full time job that has me traveling approximately once a month (for multiple days). When I travel - it isn't standard business travel where I finish my days and spend my nights alone in a hotel room. I'm an event manager - so when I am on the road- I work from the early morning hours until late into the evening. (sort of the first one up and last one to bed scenario) I don't do this alone - I have a team - but never the less - my travel schedule doesn't really allow me to take my workout on the road.
When I'm not traveling - I work from home two days a week (thank you God!) and on the other three days - I commute 1.5 hours each way to the office. My husband's hours are longer - so I am still the one responsible for picking up my kids, getting them home, getting dinner ready, walking the dogs....and then there's the whole homework / bathing things that kids require.
My hudsband is an incredible help - but our nights typically don't settle down until around 8:30 - 9:00, when he heads to the gym and I put our youngest to bed. (there's some irony here because when my oldest was her age - he was in bed by 7:30pm but that is just not possible these days!)
My days start at 5:15am. That's the time I get up to get ready for work. That does not factor in any time to get up and workout first. Then I'd need to get up at 4:00am and I honestly can't do that.
I realize I'm really all over the page at this time - so THANK YOU if you are still trying to follow along.
I generally rely on running to relieve my stress. To help me clear my head and give me some much needed release. If I weren't training for a half marathon it probably still would.
My son got sick this week. Between doctors appointments and taking care of him - I was tied up for essentially 3 days this week. To add to it - my husband - who NEVER travels - was out of town for the week. THEN I got sick. Rarely do I get so sick that I need to stay home from work (I hate to waste a sick day being sick :-). I was home on my couch for 2 days. That's essentially a whole week to illness.
During all of this - I've been stressing over the fact that I'm not running. I'm losing ground....I should be doing my long run...(which truth be told I've missed the past two weeks) and I'm STRESSED!
The bigger problem is - I don't miss it!! Not right now. I'm fried, burnt out. I want to go back to that couch I've been laying on for days and stay there! This doesn't make me feel good about myself. I pride myself in accomplishing things. I'm not a slacker. I'm type A all the way.
Running is supposed to bring me joy - NOT cause me guilt or stress.
What do I do now? I need to think about it. Or - I need to STOP thinking about it.
Hopefully this funk will pass quickly and I will be able to make up the ground I'm losing.